The Undead Update

A mysterious online personality, operating under the handle @hunting (on Batty), has captured the internet’s attention with a series of intensely melodramatic and cryptic posts, which read like they were torn from the diary of a perpetually brooding protagonist in a dark fantasy novel.

The account, active on Batty, a now widely popular social media platform, has been dropping “wisdom” about slaying shadows, lifting weights from the world by striking down “inhuman beasts” and the ominous consequences of “squandering coin in painted gardens.” Users have responded with a mix of confusion, mockery, and outright hostility.

A sample of the “Deep Thoughts”

One post that set the tone stated: “Each inhuman beast struck down is a weight lifted from the world, for every shadow slain spares a thousand dawns.” This was promptly met with a user suggesting, “bro get a hobby or try knitting or something.” Another simply called the post “edgy.“

The cryptic messages continued, with @hunting posting on September 10th: “Feathered names won’t grant you flight the snare waits for the black bird that walks as a man.” This left users perplexed, with one saying “what is bro yapping about?” and another inquiring, “Who’s this bird you are talking about?“

The account’s latest activity has, however, brought the theatrical performance to a jarring, anti-climactic halt. Just two hours ago, @hunting posted a photo with no caption, save for a small knife emoji. The image itself is an extremely zoomed-in, blurry shot of what appears to be tall, dry, brown grass, obscuring a dark shape that may or may not be a person or piece of equipment.

The image—which looks less like a triumphant hunter’s photo and more like a camera dropped during a clumsy attempt at camouflage—sparked an immediate and unromantic reaction. User Finn O’Faolain (@irishfinn) replied sarcastically, “Oh look mum another want-to-be hunter who will end up in autopsy smh.”

(The Great Grass Photo, @hunting on Batty)

The online community is now debating whether the photo signifies a deep, symbolic moment of becoming one with nature, a failed ambush attempt, or just a really bad selfie taken by someone hiding in their backyard. The popular consensus seems to be that after all the dramatic pronouncements, @hunting was ultimately ambushed by a particularly dense patch of high-definition foliage.

We’ll be sure to update you if @hunting manages to post again, assuming they can find their way out of the suspiciously thick-looking shrubbery.